hey there friends!
i’m on a plane again – surprise – and i’m having the best of times.
(i hope you are too.)
i’m sitting next to someone who has been sleeping straight for the past six hours and a little girl smiled at me with her front teeth missing and i got to tell her that she’ll be a princess when she grows up. i vicariously re-watched zootopia for the 3rd time through my other neighbour’s screen. i stuffed my face with chocolate bars (probiotic chocolate bars, to be exact. delta what are you even?!). i’m halfway through Victor Frankenstein (the movie) because James McAvoy + Daniel Radcliffe could not be missed and, even though i expected it to be total rubbish, in the first 5 minutes i felt like crying and then like cringing and then like crying again.
and oh! i got to taste ginger ale for the first time (fyi: i do not like it, abort mission). i’m on a plane all by myself for the first time.
(doing things for the first time makes me giggly enough to make it all worth it.)
and these are just the firsts of first times…
i also read a book for the first time today / tonight / jetlag (insert petition to make “jetlag” a time adverb here).
not like i’ve never read a book before, but like i had never read this one before. the name of the book doesn’t matter, but it got my brain working.
amongst other subjects, it dwelled a lot on mindfulness + being present at the moment. which made me kinda rethink my approach to technology lately.
i find myself wanting to connect with aaaall of the people and to share aaaall my experiences – having just validated in one of my previous tales that i don’t need a specific reason to do that. it’s okay if i just feel like spontaneously doing it.
but there was something that kept bothering me, something that didn’t buzz quite right. something i could not put into words before.
is that it’s important, the most important, to actually have that experience. to live it.
to be present, not doing it through screens or second-hand medias or in function of them.
straight up: it’s fine as long as you’re not doing something only because you want to snapchat / instagram / tweet / post it, ya know?! or if you go to a museum / place / only to take pictures.
recounting stuff is cool, but no one’s actually going to live that experience just because i shared it, mhmm?
i’m the only one that can live it, and also #yolo, so i took the pledge.
sharing will be super important from now on, especially because lots of people i like to know what i’m doing will be far away from me now so, note to self, will need to get in touch more, but! only if i live the experience i’m sharing first.
pinky promise: phone down, eyes up.
then, back at home, in a quiet moment, pausing for a while, i’ll post the heck out of everything i’m living. because i will be living.
rules: 1. awareness level over the roof. 2. disconnected feeling back down to zero. 3. if i miss virtually/visually sharing something because i’m living it, then it’s all for the good.
i’ve been seeing lots of people take “a break from social media” these days- but,
having just established a happier + healthier relationship with medias, i feel a lot more “whole” and “right” using them now that i’ve found a concept that truly works for me, so i’m confident enough to say onwards.
it’s probably going to be more like long descriptions, reminders of pretty quotes, learnings, advices and check-ins VS my personal one (@cinnamonfreckld) of goofy selfies, obscene amounts of food and hopefully lots of friends, the kind of things that people don’t generally care about. the big community VS my small clique?? (risky word choice)
not that i’ll be the only one: i’ve also seen that lots of future classmates of mine / college freshmen in general (facebook does wonders) have started blogs to recount their own experiences and this makes me feel soooo happy.
we’re all in this together, as i said before, à la hsm3.
it’s a huge big community of people going abroad, moving away, taking it all and doing their own thing and doing it amazingly and wanting to help others think by sharing. sharing is key, sharing is beautiful, sharing we should do more of. yes??? okay cool. done.
another thing the plane book brought to my attention was:
people have been asking me how i stayed so calm and unfazed in the days prior to my departure.
how i seemed to have no fear.
how they would have died in my situation, because i do not know people, have no furniture in my apt, don’t even have an apt for the first two days, etc. etc.
well, to those people i’d like to say, in a mystic deep voice:
do not fear the unknown, because you are fully able to deal with the unexpected and respond to whatever situation arises.
no seriously, you really are.
you might not see it right now, i get it, but you hold it all within you, TRUST ME ON THIS!!!, you have everything you need to come face to face with situations you simply cannot know yet. so don’t start worrying about them, because it is pointless. you already know you have everything you need, right? so what to worry about, if you know you’ll be able to make it? why think of it beforehand and poison your mind?
be present, again: take what comes right when it does.
with this, i’m not saying that fears are not valid.
they are 100% valid and should be embraced to the point that we make peace with them and we remind ourselves that they are just thoughts, not reality, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like that – and that’s okay.
let’s embrace the unknown, even though it might scare us a little.
scared is okay until scared doesn’t mean paralyzed, blocked, unable to get things in and out.
scared does not mean you don’t have everything you need like i wrote up there.
scared is okay as long as it means still going.
so again, how come i am not scared?
it’s because /fancy quote/ “the path itself is home”.
i am home. i am my own home just like everybody is their own. i’m always gonna stick and bug and do everything to myself. there’s no home outside of myself because i am myself.
things are not what makes us fulfilled, experiences are.
and what souls want the most is to be fulfilled. that’s the aforementioned path so don’t even try and hide it because it’s screaming and all we have to do is listening.
one of my biggest hopes is that everyone gets to get (!) to that point where they just see it and it’s simpler than ever. it’s clear and perfect and makes you feel stupid because you didn’t get it until now.
to the people who asked me all those questions i’d like to say this too:
you’re gonna feel it one day. if you try and let your mind and soul do their own thing, it’s gonna hit you in the face. real hard. it might come with a “pop!” noise like a surprise or slowly, it might not come until you’re old. it will come as long as you don’t stop looking for it and trying to be aware of all your surroundings even when it feels frustrating.
and right until then, all this block of text is going to sound pretentious and pointless and overly hippie to you. and that is SO okay too.
let’s not be lazy. let’s be awake, together?
(not like my neighbor who’s still going strong.)
and now, excuse me, i’ll run and finish Victor Frankenstein and go make this experience made of tiny little experiences and live it and then document the hell out of it.
p.s. i totally threw red star-shaped sparkles all over the airplane floor because i have three, now two, tubes of sparkles in my backpack.